Riding Solo: Parenting 101

“The number of days my husband is away correlates with the number of hours it takes me to warm up to him when he’s back” – a very wise friend who captures my feelings just perfectly

Whether it’s a golf trip or a bone fide ‘work trip’, solo parenting whilst your partner is gallivanting across the globe can come with reasonable resentment/enormous envy

I’m two weeks deep with a two year old & even though I adore my partner, watching him tick off my entire bucket list for ‘work’ whilst I raise our very snotty & slightly stroppy daughter single handedly is intense

Sometimes it’s geniunely not even the looking-after-a-child-part that I find hard, it’s all the other bits that feel easier with another pair of hands. The never ending tower of washing, the chef-ing, the chauffeuring, the cleaning… I’m extremely lucky to have a wonderful family who would normally step in Mat’s shoes, however they are all coincidentally scattered across the world so I’ve had to rally round my golden girls.

I thought I’d use this article (my first article) as therapy & help you if you’re borderline bitter, holding up the fort like the phenomenal human being you are. So here are my 3 golden nuggets, whether you’re on your own for a weekend or a month, with one child or 5…

Riding Solo: Parenting 101

We’ve heard it multiple times since we gave birth but *take* the help you’re offered. If your friends are adamant to support you, tell them exactly how you need supporting. Whether that’s picking your child/ren up from school or coming over to help with bath & bedtime, maybe it’s having them to stay a night so you know you have company, someone to pass the baton & take a slither of the mental load in the morning
Think of your 80 year old self, what would she want you to do in this season of your life? Get caught up in the ‘I wish we could swap lives’ narrative or just try embrace the chaos. We can sometimes forget that a walk in the park or any greenery you can find is an adventure for them, eating their dinner in the bath is an adventure for them, try to remember the mini adventures that felt massive for you at your childrens age
Your children are not going to judge you for the mess left over from dinner or the unfolded, bunched up laundry you’ve just taken out of the tumble dryer. Just do little bits when you can & make cleaning the house a game for them, set a timer on your phone for 2 minutes & see who can pick up the most crumbs before the music goes off. The winner gets to choose a book before bed or gets to pour mummy a glass of wine & give her a massage (imagine!) There have been many moments & there will be many more moments to come where I feel lonely, frustrated & ready to self combust. But I’m taking my own advice & instead of looking back on this time as tough, I want to remember it as special time just Auraelia & I.

Whenever you’re feeling the natural feelings that come with riding solo, remember all the other parents out there who have conquered & those who are conquering! Imagine them all in the room with you, wrapping their arms around you. Repeat after me ‘I am doing the best I can & I am a remarkable human being’. Sending you a giant squeeeeeeze x

Caveat // I am in no way comparing this to single parenting, one of my best friends has bought her daughter up by herself from 4 months to 4 years old. ‘Solo parenting’ is temporary & I appreciate how lucky I am to even have an incredible husband.