A growing number of brides-to-be are now opting for bridesmaid-free weddings – regardless of how big or small the wedding may be. Are you team bridesmaids or team bridesmaid-free?
‘I’m having six bridesmaids at my wedding – does that make me traditional?’
Truth be told, I never actually considered not having bridesmaids at my wedding. I guess whenever I dreamed about what my wedding day might look like, getting ready and walking down the aisle with some of my closest friends was always part of the picture.
Of course, I totally understand why some see the idea of having a fully-fledged cheer-leading squad – AKA a group of identically-dressed fully-grown women, giggling over Bucks Fizz, getting their hair and make-up done and putting their pal on a pedestal literally because they’ve found a husband or wife – may seem a bit ‘behind-the-times’ old fashioned.
But just because I’m having bridesmaids doesn’t mean I’m necessarily going to dictate that they all must wear the same hideous matching dress and shoes they can’t walk in. I’m not that mean. Call me traditional, but perhaps I’m just taking the traditions I like and putting my own little twist on them? After all, the beauty of planning your own wedding means you can have the day you want, the way you want it.
Yes, bridesmaids are expensive. Believe me, I know. I’ve recently been reaching out to hair and make-up artists and the cost for painting nine faces and tonging nine heads of hair (including mine, six bridesmaids, my mum’s and soon-to-be mother-in-law’s) is, frankly, eye-watering. But can you put a price on the memories you’ll create on your wedding morning, when you’re excitingly getting ready all together? I think not.
These are the girls who have been by my side through thick and thin – they’ve witnessed every heartbreak, helped me to pack up boxes and move homes, pepped me up when I hit rock bottom and felt full of self-doubt and are genuinely just some of the kindest souls you’ll ever meet. I’m extraordinarily lucky to have them. They’ve essentially helped me to become the person I am today and I can’t imagine a world where they’re not standing next to me when I say ‘I do’.
There may well be a growing number of brides forgoing bridesmaids. But, for me, having bridesmaids means there’s a close-knit group of people (just one WhatsApp away) that I know I can trust, lean on and laugh with, during what can sometimes be a stressful time. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
‘I’ve ditched the traditional bridal party and I’m having just a Maid of Honour – I have zero regrets’
I deliberated long and hard about who I would like to be a bridesmaid, how many I would have and how I might ask them. But, ultimately, unlike Alice, I’ve decided to have just the one, my Maid of Honour.
Perhaps surprisingly, that decision is not a reflection of the strength of my female friendships but rather a testament to them. You see, I’m lucky enough to have several friendship groups that each formed during different seasons of my life. A handful of those friends have known me since primary school, others since we were thrown together in University accommodation and, more recently, one tribe formed out of CrossFit and another during office hours.
To narrow it down then to which group know me best or, even more difficult, which individual from each group deserves the bridesmaid badge would be impossible not to mention political and, for that reason, I even considered having no bridal party at all. That was until it dawned on me that while I wanted the 18 months prior to our wedding and the morning of, to be a low-key and calm affair, I also didn’t want to do it alone.
Of course, the unexpected beauty of making the decision to have just one Maid of Honour is that her dress needs only to compliment her and with just our faces to paint and hair to style, there will be no 5am alarm to ensure that a conveyor belt of bridesmaids are ready for midday. Hello, breakfast in bed!
As for the rest of my closest friends, I’m hoping to honour them in other ways throughout the day. Whether one reads a poem during the ceremony or another acts as our compere for the reception, there are so many ways you can incorporate your loved ones into the run of the day that feel much less high-stakes for them too.
I only hope that when the day does come, they’ll be thrilled to arrive, kick back and enjoy the surprises we have in store for them – safe in the knowledge they didn’t have to don a matching slogan dressing gown earlier that morning!
Related Article: Everything You Need To Know About Navigating Bridesmaid Proposals
